[ad_pod ]This article is part of Football FanCast’s Opinion series, which provides analysis, insight and opinion on any issue within the beautiful game, from Paul Pogba’s haircuts to League Two relegation battles…Former Liverpool and Tottenham striker Peter Crouch announced his retirement on Friday.
The front-man pulled the curtain down on a phenomenal career that has seen him win the FA Cup and reach the Champions League final.
Now, no, he is not the most decorated forward to have played in the Premier League. Nor is he the most gifted footballer England has ever produced.
What Crouch is, though, is the best England international forward since 2003.
That’s a big claim, yes, particularly given that Wayne Rooney played for his country with distinction.
But Crouch, unlike Rooney, never once let his country down.
Take a look at his scoring record: In 42 caps, he scored 22 goals. That’s better than a goal every other game.
Compare it with the foremost England strikers of his era: Rooney had a record of 53 goals in 120 games or less than a goal every other game; Jermain Defoe scored 20 in 57; Theo Walcott netted eight in 47; Darius Vassell scored six in 22; Alan Smith scored once in 19 caps; Darren Bent scored four in 12.
He stands apart, both literally and in terms of the numbers.
Of course, there is an argument to be made here, simply, that the rest of the strikers weren’t international class. None of the players listed, bar Rooney, have ever been touted as world-class. None of them have been linked with moves to the likes of Real Madrid and Barcelona.
Yet nor has Crouch.
Perhaps that’s where his genius comes from. This is a striker who is taller than most of his peers, yet scored one of the most acrobatic goals the Kop has ever seen, a phenomenal bicycle kick for Liverpool against Galatasaray in the Champions League. He also netted a once-in-a-lifetime volley for Stoke City versus Manchester City from around 25 yards out. It flew into the top corner like a tracer beam.
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Crouch, of course, is seen as a bit of a figure of fun. He has a great sense of humourÂand alsoÂwrote a genuinely hilarious book about his time as a footballer. He celebrated goals with the robot dance too, let’s not forget.
But beneath the veneer is an elite international forward, a handful for defenders on the continent and beyond. He has scored against the likes of Uruguay, Croatia and Mexico. He netted at a World Cup, too, scoring against Trinidad & Tobago in a 2-0 win in 2006.
There is, of course, a question as to whether or not he would be picked now, were he at his peak. The answer is that he probably wouldn’t; Harry Kane and Marcus Rashford seem immovable at the top of the pecking order.
But he would still be a threat, a player Gareth Southgate could call upon if the going was tough. Who knows how Croatia would have dealt with him in that World Cup semi-final.
The fact of the matter is that he was playing in a fallow period for English football, when the best the country could hope for was qualification for the quarter-finals, despite the array of stars available for selection.
Three Lions fans, though, should always fondly remember Crouch.
He was, after all, the best they had in those dreary, dreary years.