All posts by h79snht.top

It now feels like the subject of a fabled myth, but there was once a time Liverpool splashed out £10million on Senegalese badboy El Hadji Diouf.

The forward’s impressive performances at the 2002 World Cup had helped knocked out France and pushed Les Lions de la Teranga to a quarter-final – subsequently, then-Reds boss Gerard Houlier saw a star in the making.

But little did the Anfield side know that they had just thrown a double-figure sum at one of the most menacing and detestable players the Premier League has ever seen. Seven clubs, countless spitting incidents and allegations of racism, twelve years and only 37 league goals later, Diouf is now a free agent after being released by Leeds United.

Essentially, the 33 year-old made an entire career out of a splatter (or should that be spatter) of decent showings at a major international tournament. Hardly the first player to do so, and undoubtedly not the last.

So with that in mind, this article takes a look at the FIVE ‘El Hadji Dioufs of Brazil 2014’ that Arsenal must avoid at all costs.

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ENNER VALENCIA

To give credit where it’s due, you can’t ask for much more from a striker in his debut World Cup than a return of three goals in three appearances, as is the case with Enner Valencia.

The Ecuador international claimed a brace against Honduras, accordingly earning the Man of the Match award, including this well-placed header…

Furthermore, the 24 year-old’s record of 18 goals in 23 league appearances since joining current club Pachuca in January speaks for itself. Here’s a short clip of the 5 foot 9 forward in action:

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Valencia has already stated his ambitions to move to the European scene after Brazil 2014…

And amid their need for a potent goal-scorer, the Gunners, along with Newcastle, Everton and West Ham, have been linked online…

But having never plied his trade in Europe before, moving from the Mexican top flight to the Premier League is an enormous step, and with so many English clubs interested, Valencia won’t come with a bargain-bucket price-tag.

Even his £10million valuation could prove to be a huge waste of money in just a couple of months’ time.

GRANIT XHAKA

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Admittedly, Granit Xhaka is an exciting young talent that has often been discussed in regards to Premier League clubs before.

The Switzerland international comes with a strong reputation from his FC Basel days, where he won back-to-back league titles and was dubbed ‘the young Schweinsteiger’.

And this goal against France will have further boosted the 21 year-old’s stock…

But for a player considered to be first and foremost an attacking midfielder or at least a box-to-box – Ottmar Hitzfeld has continually used him as a No.10 at the World Cup – the Borussia Monchengladbach starlet lacks output.

Xhaka produced no goals and one assist all season in the Bundesliga, and his attacking statistics are hardly impressive…

And currently rated at a near-ridiculous £10million by Transfermarkt.com, there are certainly better, less risky deals to be had this summer.

Guillermo Ochoa

Guillermo Ocha has been in unbelievable form for Mexico at the World Cup, producing a number of top-class saves, as seen below:

And he produced an equally talismanic performance against PSG earlier this season…

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Furthermore, with his contract at Ajaccio having ended, the 28 year-old has been mooted as a potential back-up acquisition for the Gunners…

But the spaghetti-haired Central American certainly has a few shades of Heurelho Gomes about him, making simple saves look heroic while seemingly only being seconds away from a complete goal-line meltdown.

Having thus far plied his club trade at the less flattering end of the French table, it remains to be seen whether Ochoa is up to Premier League standard.

YACINE BRAHIMI

Attacking midfielder Yacine Brahimi has been linked with a Premier League switch before, and following his impressive showings for Algeria at the World Cup, it’s unsurprising that a number of top clubs are sniffing around him once again…

The 24 year-old claimed one goal and one assist in three outings for Algeria at Brazil 2014, including this strike against South Korea…

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Brahimi is a sensational dribbler too, as shown below…

But he lacks output – just three goals and four assists in 35 league outings for Granada last season isn’t enough to warrant a major Premier League move.

The Gunners should leave the Algerian to local rivals Tottenham – because he has all the makings of a prime World Cup dud.

Mathieu Debuchy

Perhaps branding Mathieu Debuchy as an El Hadji Diouf incarnate is a tad unjustified, considering the Newcastle defender has more than proved he’s up to Premier League standard over the last 18 months.

Furthermore, the Magpies full-back caught attention from PSG and Bayern Munich to name a few during the latter half of last season…

Impressive showings for France at the World Cup, as shown below, will further impress the 28 year-old’s suitors…

But in my opinion, Debuchy is a flawed defender. His performance levels on Tyneside have been inconsistent to say the least and a lack of concentration, especially in regards to holding the line, has cost Alan Pardew’s side dearly on multiple occasions. These Twitter enthusiasts share my concern…

The France international is no replacement for Bacary Sagna, and rated as highly as £12million by some, Arsenal would be far better off investing in younger talent.

The big games don’t always deliver

When Manchester City and Bayern Munich, champions of their respective leagues meet in the greatest club football tournament, you expect to see a spectacle.

When Arjen Robben, Xabi Alonso, Robert Lewandowski, Mario Gotze & co are going toe-to-toe with Yaya Toure, Sergio Aguero and Vincent Kompany, amongst others, you expect to have 90 minutes of excitement.

Well, tonight failed to deliver!

Yaya Toure flatters to deceive

It is these big European nights that City need the marauding runs and physical presence that the Ivory Coast international brings. However, in a game where the Citizens were under the cosh for a lot of the 90 minutes, Yaya was unable to have his usual influence in the middle of the park.

This, as football fans like to do, brought about a lot of criticism for the midfielder:

Joe Hart is Manchester City’s No.1

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When Willy Caballero arrived from La Liga in the summer, many believed that England’s No.1’s place was under threat. However, after a string of superb saves tonight – Thomas Muller will be having Joe Hart-related nightmares – the ‘keeper has cemented his spot between the sticks for a few more games at least:

What a week it’s been for Irish football; after trouncing Gibraltar 7-0 on Saturday, a last-gasp equaliser from John O’Shea on his 100th cap saw them snatch a superb away point against world champions Germany on Tuesday night which sees them end the international break sitting pretty in second place in Group D, level on points with leaders Poland.

Indeed, it proved to be an even more memorable week for Robbie Keane, as the Irish captain took full advantage of what was always going to be a goal glut against newcomers Gibraltar to score a first-half hat-trick, which means he is now the top scorer in European Championship history. His tally of 65 goals places him in joint 14th position in the list of all-time international goalscorers, above the likes of Ronaldo, Romario, David Villa and Thierry Henry.

Keane’s milestone is a fantastic achievement for a man who has represented his country 137 times, more than any other Irishman. Since making his debut in 1998, the LA Galaxy striker has never been one to shy away from international commitments, and ample praise for his exploits is fully deserved.

In a broader context, however, Keane’s feat gives us an indication of what might be wrong not only with the European qualifying format, but with international football as a whole as well. While nothing should be taken away from what Keane has achieved, a pair of fixtures against Gibraltar was always going to present him with the opportunity to boost his goals tally in a way that would be virtually unthinkable against most other sides in European football.

Teams such as Gibraltar, San Marino and Andorra have as much a right to participate in the qualifying process as any other nation, however the perpetual lack of competition that they provide does diminish the prestige of international football somewhat. Representing one’s country is supposed to be the zenith of one’s career, an acknowledgement that you are good enough to compete with the very best in world football, yet being pitted against a team consisting mainly of amateurs in every qualification campaign is hardly a test of one’s abilities, and the bucketload of goals that strikers can expect to score when facing such lowly opposition hugely distorts one’s overall impact on the international stage.

Take Archie Thompson of Australia, for example. The Melbourne Victory striker is third in the list of all-time Australian top goalscorers with 28 goals, yet almost half of those famously came in a single game against American Samoa. The 31-0 victory in 2001 remains a world record, during which Thompson bagged 13 goals. Without these strikes, he does not even make the top ten list.

The increasing regularity of lucrative friendlies also contributes to this significant distortion, and again takes the lustre away from international football. Argentina versus Brazil is one of the most mouth-watering ties in the game; the less frequent the two teams meet the better, as there ought to be a real sense of occasion whenever these two hugely successful South American heavyweights clash. However, the past seven fixtures have all been friendlies, with all but two of them embellished as the Superclasico de las Américas. The most recent game was played last week in smog-ridden Beijing, which gives us a strong idea of the real motives behind such a fixture. Indeed, in the past ten years, half of the games between the two teams have taken place outside of Brazil and Argentina, with players of both sides obliged to participate in pointless yet profitable friendlies in Qatar, England, Germany and the United States.

Such blatant profiteering from the world’s most recognisable national sides is damaging to the integrity of international football. With 40 goals, 22 year-old Neymar is well on course to overtake Pele as Brazil’s top scorer, yet a staggering 30 of those goals have come in friendlies. Brazil are essentially the Harlem Globetrotters of football, bandied about the countries of the world like an exhibition team, and though Neymar will almost certainly beat the long-standing record of Pele – one of the greatest footballers of all time – will it be that great an achievement given that most goals have so far come in uncompetitive, rather than competitive, fixtures?

The solution to the two problems identified is relatively straightforward. The whipping boys of international football, as has already been noted, should have the opportunity to play competitvely just like any other nation; nevertheless, a pre-qualifying stage for the lowest ranked teams in each qualification zone would not only allow these teams to play games in which they might actually win, but it would also increase the overall competitveness of the actual qualifying process. What’s more, these sides are hardly going to have busy schedules and swathes of friendly invitations, so such a proposal should not be too impractical. As for friendlies, treating football fans from around the globe who do not usually get the chance to watch top international sides to the occasional fixture is perfectly fine, however there ought to be a quota on the maximum amount of friendlies each team is allowed to play.

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Put these ideas in place, and international football can regain its competitive edge.

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“If this goes on, you’ll be hearing it again: Big Sam for England,” Mirror Football’s Andy Dunn has prophesised following West Ham’s spirited win against Manchester City last weekend.

Indeed, the Hammers’ recent successes under their quintessentially English gaffer, propelling them to fourth in table after five wins in nine, including shock rompings of the Citizens and Liverpool, are hard to ignore in a Premier League climate where only six of a potential twenty managers are English – and all of that six finished in the top flight’s bottom half last season or were promoted from the Championship.

The Three Lions gig has been playing on Sam Allardyce’s mind lately. In a recent interview with The Express, he revealed that he was desperate for the job in 2006, before it went to the ‘Wally with the Brolly’, Steve Mclaren, and also outlined hopes of being considered for the job when Roy Hodgson’s future comes under review after Euro 2016.

Allardyce’s meticulous eye for detail is often lost in his obnoxious demeanour and the continuous debates over 19th century football, despite it being one of his obvious strengths. The ‘fat Sam’ moniker doesn’t help much either, as if Allardyce represents nothing more than a loutish, beer-swigging football dinosaur of the Joe Kinnear variety.

But you can’t win five in nine whilst averaging just 46% possession – or for that matter, beat the Premier League’s reigning champions with just 30% of the ball – without an obsessive-compulsive game-plan, without West Ham’s level of scrupulous organisation. All that comes from Allardyce’s preparation and how well it’s translated to the players on the training pitch.

It would be interesting to witness Allardyce attempting to transition that style to international football; the siege mentality, the clinical efficiency, the philosophy of curtailing the opposition by honing in on the specifics rather than attempting to play your own game.

England have played that way under Hodgson at times, but it’s always shrouded in the ambiguity of apologetic undertones. Allardyce on the other hand, would give it a sense of genuine purpose and ideology.

But Big Sam would be wasted as England boss – and not because of what the critics might say. Following a summer window in which he’s transformed West Ham’s fortunes on a budget of just £30million, clearly, unquestionably, undoubtedly and indisputably, Allardyce’s greatest qualities as a manager, by far, are in the transfer market.

Indeed, there’s been a great debate about the evolution of the Hammers’ philosophy this season, as pundits laud the 60 year-old with praise for taking the concerns of the Boleyn boo-boys on board. That’s all waffle, Allardyce doesn’t care about any of that, and statistically speaking, West Ham haven’t changed all that much from last year.

For example, the Irons played a higher percentage of long-passes, 17%, than any Premier League side last season. This term, their long-ball bias remains remarkably similar at 16%. Last season, they recorded the joint-longest average pass length of 21 metres; this season, they’re in joint-second with 20 meters. Last year their average possession was 46%, now it’s up to 47%.

And in classic Allardyce style, six of his side’s 17  goals this season have come from set pieces – the most of any Premier League club.

The real changes have been in personnel and the improved efficiency they provide. Just as Allardyce enriched his battle-hardened Bolton side with a series of astute, high-quality additions, ranging from Jay-Jay Okocha in 2002 to Nicolas Anelka in 2006, he used his impeccable knowledge of the transfer market to completely change the dynamics of the Hammers squad this summer.

Take Alex Song for example, the former Arsenal and Barcelona midfielder whose spent the last nine seasons plying his trade regularly in the Champions League. Brought in a one-year loan deal, after seemingly being rejected by the European elite, did the Premier League witness a better pound-for-pound acquisition this summer? Everyone appears to forgotten that the Cameroonian is just 27 and currently enjoying his peak years, one of which now belongs to the Hammers.

Then there’s the entirely new-look strike-force of Enner Valencia and Diafra Sakho, the former one of the 2014 World Cup’s more notable transfer gems and the latter’s intrinsic role in helping FC Metz return to Ligue 1 since plummeting into the French third tier just two years ago, amassing 39 goals in 70 league appearances, apparently unnoticed by the rest of European football.

Costing the East Londoners around £17million combined, their eight goals has already matched Andy Carroll and Carlton Cole’s entire output from last term. They’re even making Stewart Downing look like a top-class No.10.

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Of course, there have been tactical alterations but these can be sourced in recruitment too. It’s often said that full-back is now  the most important position on the pitch, and Allardyce swapped both No.2 and No.3 this summer by bringing in Carl Jenkinson from Arsenal and Aaron Cresswell from Ipswich, after claiming twelve assists in his final Championship campaign. A far cry from the more attritional, retro styles of Joey O’Brien and Guy Demel.

Indeed, if you were to compare West Ham’s summer business to the rest of the Premier League in terms of value for money, the only genuine competition would be from Chelsea and Southampton, two of the three clubs currently above the Hammers in the league table. They spent £60million and £30million more than Allardyce respectively.

Allardyce for England would be an intriguing experiment – purely for the sake of public and punditry reaction before anything else. Yet, one that would prevent the 60 year-old from playing to by far his greatest strength. The West Ham gaffer keeps dreaming of Three Lions but it’s time for him to face reality – like it, lump it or loathe it, he’s a club manager – the Premier League’s greatest wheeler-dealer – through and through.

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Another weekend of football means another round of Premier League predictions!

Last time out, Chelsea continued their undefeated run by winning 2-0 against West Brom, and Manchester City came from 1-0 down to beat Swansea 2-1. Crystal Palace produced a shocker when they came from a 1-0 deficit to win 3-1 against Liverpool, and Arsenal lost 2-1 in the game of the weekend against Manchester United.

Some of the games in store for this weekend include Swansea v Crystal Palace, Liverpool v Stoke, Sunderland v Chelsea, Southampton v Manchester City, and Tottenham v Everton.

Will Palace continue their winning ways? Can Liverpool pick up their first league win in over a month? Will Sunderland be the first team to defeat Chelsea in the league? Will City put an end to the Saints great start to the season? Can Everton beat Tottenham?

Here are Football FanCast’s Premier League Predictions for this weekend.

West Brom v Arsenal

Early kick off sees Arsenal make a trip to the Hawthorns to take on West Brom. The Baggies have failed to win in their last three league games at home and haven’t defeated the Gunners in the league since 2010. Despite their injury setbacks, Arsenal will be looking to build on their midweek win against Borussia Dortmund to propel them towards a top four finish. Arsenal will win this one.

Prediction: West Brom 1-3 Arsenal

Burnley v Aston Villa

After winning their last two, Burnley welcome Aston Vila to Turf Moor, a team that hasn’t won since September. The Clarets will see this as an opportunity to move away from the relegation zone if they win and results go their way. Last time out, Villa picked up an impressive draw against high flyers Southampton. This will be a true test for Sean Dyche’s team as it is a winnable game. Villa is still struggling to score goals as of late, so another win for Burnley.

Prediction: Burnley 2-1 Aston Villa

Liverpool v Stoke

Liverpool will host Stoke at Anfield in what promises to be a good game. The Potters’ inconsistencies continued last time out as they failed to put back-to-back wins together when they were widely expected to beat struggling Burnley. The Reds, however, haven’t won since October but they have been scoring recently thanks to Rickie Lambert. Although they still have defensive problems, Liverpool should have enough fire power to grab all three points.

Prediction: Liverpool 2-1 Stoke

Manchester United v Hull

Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal will be hoping his side’s 2-1 victory against Arsenal last time out helps maintain their recent winning run. The victory at the Emirates lifted United to 4th and they will be confident of making it a third win in a row when they welcome Hull to Old Trafford. The Tigers sit one point above the relegation zone and will be desperate to avoid falling in. Hull need a win, but with only one away win this season and having failed to win in the last six league meetings against the Red Devils, it is unlikely to happen.

Prediction: Manchester United 3-0 Hull

Swansea v Crystal Palace

Swansea were unlucky to lose to Manchester City last weekend, and should return to winning ways this weekend against Crystal Palace. Palace will be entering this game on a high after defeating Liverpool at home last time out. The Swans haven’t lost in their last six meetings against Palace. Despite entering this game on the back of a good win, Palace look set to lose this one, especially if Wilfred Bony keeps hitting the target.

Prediction: Swansea 2-0 Crystal Palace

QPR v Leicester

This is a must win game for Leicester, as December is a really tricky month for them as they face Liverpool, Manchester City, and Tottenham. QPR have only managed to win one of their last four games at home, and a win against Leicester couldn’t provide a better chance to change their fortunes. Unfortunately, the Foxes have failed to find a frequent goal scorer this season, whereas the R’s have Charlie Austin, who has scored four in their last four league games. QPR will win.

Prediction: QPR 2-0 Leicester

West Ham v Newcastle

West Ham will look to return to winning ways this weekend against an in form Newcastle. The Hammers were missing key players in attack last time out, causing them to lose for the first time in six league games. The Magpies on the other hand are the league’s in-form side, winning their last five games on the trot. All good runs have to come to an end at some point, and this one will end this weekend against an impressive Hammers side.

Prediction: West Ham 2-1 Newcastle

Sunderland v Chelsea

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Speaking of good runs, Chelsea are still undefeated in the league after 12 games. Unlike Newcastle, this Chelsea side should have no problem continuing their good form against a Black Cats side that sits three points above the relegation zone in 14th. The Pensioners, with Diego Costa, should win this game with relative ease and domination.

Prediction: Sunderland 1-4 Chelsea

Southampton v Manchester City

One of the games to watch this weekend sees Southampton welcoming Manchester City to St Mary’s, in a second versus third contest. The Saints performance dipped last time out against Aston Villa, whilst the Citizens had to come from 1-0 down to take all three points against Swansea. Southampton should return to their impressive form in this game, but it still won’t be good enough to take all the points. Despite their midweek win against Bayern Munich in the Champions League, this game still looks like it has the word ‘draw’ written all over it.

Prediction: Southampton 1-1 Manchester City

Tottenham v Everton

The other game to watch this weekend is at White Hart Lane between Tottenham and Everton, as both sides push towards finishing in a European spot. Spurs may have preferred to be playing away from home due to their struggles to win over fans at White Hart Lane in the league and the Toffees will want to make a fast start to unsettle this crowd further. This game is a tough one to call, which is why you should watch it as it is guaranteed to be a good one. If Romelu Lukaku is able to continue his scoring ways, as he has score two in the Toffee’s last two games, his side could pull out a surprise win.

Prediction: Tottenham 1-2 Everton

Hardly anybody would have predicted Arsenal’s impressive away victory against Manchester City on Sunday. Arsene Wenger approached the game effectively and was tactically spot on in how Arsenal lined up against the Champions. So does this mean Wenger has finally worked out how to play against the big teams?

If the performance against City it anything to go by, then you would say yes. Arsenal certainly showed resilience as well as quality in the final third. Although they did score two goals, they looked a threat on the counter attack throughout the game and had a number of chances to increase the scoreline.

City, on the other hand, did not have as many clear-cut chances as Arsenal did and this was largely down to how the Gunners chose to approach the game. They got midfielders behind the ball and chose to invite pressure, which can prove to be a risky tactic against a side of City’s quality. However, as soon as Arsenal got the ball back, they looked to break up the pitch. It was a mature way to approach the game as Arsenal refrained from trying to go to the Etihad and play them off the park.

In terms of possession and passing, City were completely dominant. They completed 531 passes compared to Arsenal’s 273, with 143 of those passes occurring in the attacking third, so Arsenal did have to defend well. In terms of defensive stats, Arsenal made a massive 50 clearances in the game compared to City’s twelve. They also completed an impressive 39 interceptions in order to break down City’s attacks. Judging by these stats, Arsenal’s no nonsense approach at the back worked effectively as it helped to slow the momentum of their opponents.

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When Arsenal did get the ball, they seemed to be more direct with it. The likes of Santi Cazorla, Alexis Sanchez and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain ran at the heart of the City defence, looking to carve them open. It was this attacking threat that led to Arsenal’s first goal. Full-back Nacho Monreal was running into the box before Vincent Kompany fouled him, resulting in Arsenal being awarded a penalty, which Santi Cazorla expertly dispatched. Arsenal were not afraid of getting forward, though, and it was their defensive maturity that a lot of Arsenal fans would have been relieved to see.

A special mention has to be given to Cazorla, who was absolutely superb throughout the match. His goal was almost overshadowed by his excellent work rate and energy. At times, he looked like a yappy dog that the City attack couldn’t shake off. He made two successful tackles during the match and intercepted the ball three times. He performed the ugly side of the game well but it was his ability with the ball that really stood out. He had a 92% pass success rate at the end of the match as well as providing the excellent assist for Olivier Giroud’s goal. Cazorla has really stepped up to the plate in recent weeks and is often inspiring Arsenal to produce performances like the one on Sunday.

Credit has to be given to Wenger for the manner in which Arsenal collected the three points. Many had accused him of tactical naivety and stubbornness when approaching the big games, especially away from one. However, this was a performance that showed that Arsene is more than capable of setting up a team in a manner that makes them very hard to beat.

If Wenger can continue to get performances like this out of his team, they will become a tough test for the top sides in the league, something that simply has not happened in recent seasons.

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It was Arsenal’s most impressive display this season in terms of commitment and work rate, suggesting that Wenger is more than capable of grinding out results when it really matters.

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Liverpool welcomed fierce rivals Manchester United to Anfield this weekend, in what was one of their most important meetings in recent years, with both sides challenge for a place in the top four.

With just two points separating the sides before kick-off, Sunday’s 2-1 victory for United could prove decisive in their bid to secure Champions League qualification as England’s most successful clubs went head to head in a dramatic encounter.

Since defeat at Old Trafford back in December, Liverpool had gone on a tremendous unbeaten run and were looking to leapfrog United into fourth place with victory this weekend. But with United full of confidence following their best performance of the season in defeating Tottenham, they produced another terrific display to end their rivals impressive sequence without defeat, with a brace from Juan Mata enough to secure the points.

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard was sent off moments after arriving into the action, with his stamp proving costly as the visitors opened up a five-point advantage in the race for Champions League qualification.

Arguably the Premier League’s most intense rivalry, there have been plenty of exciting clashes and dramatic moments between these two over the past few years, with both sides winning their fair share of matches. And with their latest meeting offering more of the same, here are five more memorable moments from years gone by.

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January 1999 – Man United 2-1 Liverpool

United’s last-gasp victory over Liverpool in the FA Cup fourth round was one of the defining moments of their famous treble winning season.

Trailing to an early header from Michael Owen, the visitors looked set to leave Old Trafford with the ultimate smash and grab with their goal appearing to live a charmed life.

However, the persistence of Sir Alex Ferguson’s side finally paid off as Dwight Yorke equalised with just two minutes of normal time remaining. But not content with a draw, up popped Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in injury time to net a dramatic winner and kick start an historic few months for the club.

Little did we know that this wasn’t to be the only time the Norwegian would be the hero thanks to a late winner, as Bayern Munich were to find out.

March 2007 – Liverpool 0-1 Man United

John O’Shea was the unlikely hero this time around, as United left Anfield with a fortunate victory as they closed in on the Premier League title.

Having been second best for long periods of the game, the visitors were reduced to 10 men following the dismissal of Paul Scholes, and so would have been grateful to leave with a goalless draw.

O’Shea had other ideas however, and after Pepe Reina failed to deal with a free-kick from Cristiano Ronaldo, the substitute was on hand to pounce and net another injury time winner for the Red Devils.

March 2009 – Man United 1-4 Liverpool

A game that lives long in the memory as the day that saw Liverpool forward Fernando Torres terrorise United defender Nemanja Vidic, as the visitors dished out a 4-1 thrashing to record their biggest win at Old Trafford in 73 years.

Having trailed to a Cristiano Ronaldo penalty, Torres got the better of Vidic; pressing him into a mistake before racing through and netting the equaliser.

Steven Gerrard then put the visitors ahead from the spot, before Vidic’s nightmare afternoon was complete as he was sent off for a second yellow card.

Fabio Aurelio fired home the resulting free-kick, before Andrea Dossena finished the scoring to keep alive Liverpool’s hopes of a first Premier League title.

September 2010 – Man United 3-2 Liverpool

This game belonged to Dimitar Berbatov, who scored a superb hat-trick in a 3-2 win to help his side on their way to another Premier League title. The home side seemed to be coasting to victory as the Bulgarian struck a wonderful overhead kick to put his side two up on the hour mark.

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However, a brace from Steven Gerrard got the visitors back on terms, only for the striker to grab his third of the match with only six minutes remaining. His hat-trick saw him become the first United player since 1946 to score three in a game against their arch rivals.

March 2011 – Liverpool 3-1 Man United

Six months after Berbatov’s hat-trick, Liverpool striker Dirk Kuyt was on hand to repeat the feat as the sides met in the reverse fixture, with Liverpool claiming a commanding win this time around.

The Dutchman’s trio of goals were not as complex as his United counterpart; all three coming from less than six yards out, but they were every bit effective as his partnership with Luis Suarez flourished on a terrific afternoon for the home side.

Two first half goals put the game to bed before Kuyt completed his hat-trick on 65 minutes, tapping in a rebound after Edwin Van der Sar could only parry a Suarez free-kick.

Javier Hernandez netted a consolation in injury time, but the plaudits belonged to Liverpool and Kuyt in particular; the first man since Peter Beardsley in 1990 to score three against the Red Devils.

Even with eight weeks of the season left to play, two of the summer’s prime time transfers sagas are well under way; Real Madrid’s pursuit of David De Gea and the possibility of Gareth Bale heading in the other direction.

The idea that Bale may be available for transfer refuses to go away. United were reported to have made a bid at the time of the winger’s record breaking moved to Madrid back in 2013 and rumours resurfaced last summer.

The Welshman is nearing the end of his second season in the Spanish Capital but if he were available could represent a major coup for Louis Van Gaal.

Former Atletico Madrid star De Gea meanwhile has excelled between the sticks at Old Trafford and could well become United’s Player of the Year for the second consecutive campaign. The stunning nature of his displays make him the heir apparent to Iker Casillas, long term custodian of the Bernabeu, whose career is winding down in Spain.

The Madrid-born goalkeeper is undoubtedly one of United’s best assets at present but would it make sense to allow him to leave if it opened the door to bringing in a player of Bale’s calibre?

Obviously the sums of money involved for two of the world’s top players would be monumental and for that reason alone either deal, or both, could fail to materialise. De Gea’s contract though has just 16 months to run. Should the Red Devils be looking to force the issue?

The answer isn’t straightforward and depends on whether the Old Trafford hierarchy believe they can convince De Gea to sign new terms.

The goalkeeper, younger than Bale by one year, should have at least a decade left at the top of the game. Outfield, Bale might have six or seven years before he starts to slow down.

As talented an individual as the Welshman is, he is a luxury which United would love to have as opposed to a necessity they do have, a world-class keeper.

Consequently the young Spaniard is almost as valuable. It would also be much cheaper to tie him down for the future than to let him go, fork out additional cash for the Cardiff-born man and then go looking about a replacement keeper.

If however, he makes clear his desire to leave, then United can re-evaluate the situation and should potentially look to strike a deal while the iron is hot this summer.

Bale, tied to Madrid until 2019, would command a huge fee but De Gea would account for the lion’s share of this.

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If Van Gaal therefore, cannot persuade his prized shot-stopper to sign an extension, then using him as a makeweight to sign the former Tottenham star would be a great Plan B and a real statement of intent.

Real’s interest in De Gea seems, at this early stage, the more likely to come to fruition given the expiry date on his contract and the fact that it would see him return to his homeland.

The two clubs though, have enjoyed a good relationship in the transfer market over the last decade and a half so the swap should not be ruled out.

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“Almost job done for LVG in terms of securing Champions League football, & with that comes the power to attract some of the biggest names in world football,

“Exciting times for United!”

As Phil Neville says, Manchester United are in for a massive summer.

Marouane Fellaini’s late winner at Crystal Palace and Liverpool’s draw at Chelsea means that unless the Reds can claw back six points and 14 goals in two games, Louis van Gaal’s side will be in the Champions League – well, qualifiers at the very least – next season.

And with vast levels of cash swilling around at Old Trafford and the appeal of playing in the biggest club competition, top players may well find United a more enticing prospect than they have done in more recent transfer windows.

With that in mind, here are FIVE world-class players United can realistically chase…

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Edinson Cavani

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With Robin van Persie and Radamel Falcao having failed to impress, Wayne Rooney having shone in a more reserved role and James Wilson being too young, a top class striker is something Van Gaal may look at. Paris Saint-Germain’s Edinson Cavani is a mooted target, and it’s fair to say ‘El Matador’ could offer United a new threat. Pacey, skilful and strong, the Uruguayan is the complete forward when on form, and his frustrations at playing out wide for the Ligue 1 champions may help to facilitate a switch.

Mats Hummels

A side aiming to compete in the Premier League and Champions League cannot truly rely on a backline consisting of the likes of Jonny Evans and Phil Jones. No disrespect to the aforementioned duo, but a player of Mats Hummels’ quality would be a massive upgrade. The German is thought to be target number one for Van Gaal this summer, and it’s easy to see why. Strong and commanding but adept on the ball, the World Cup winner is, arguably, the finest centre-back in Europe right now, and has even looked good in a shocking Dortmund side this season. With Jurgen Klopp leaving in a few months’ time, Hummels could exit, too.

Ilkay Gundogan

Another Dortmund star clearly on United’s radar is Ilkay Gundogan. Premature reports a few weeks ago revealed a deal was done for the playmaker, suggesting that United are looking seriously at him. A good passer of the ball and composed in the middle of the park, the German ace looks to be a good Michael Carrick successor, with the veteran midfielder now edging towards the end of his career.

Thomas Muller

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Weekend reports indicated that Thomas Muller is in United’s transfer sights after a spat with Bayern Munich boss Pep Guardiola. Although not a standout player in any single attribute, the German is one of the best forwards around, combining excellent work ethic with impeccable positioning.

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He can also function from wide or as a ‘No. 10’, which would be of use to Van Gaal.

Gareth Bale

As far as marquee buys go, Gareth Bale is probably the best around for United. The Welshman is currently the most expensive player in the history of the game and possesses the sort of talent to win games on his own. His Real Madrid spell has been mixed, but suggestions that he’s “p***** off” at the Bernabeu have opened the door for United to offer him an escape route. He won’t come cheap, though!

These are bleak football-free times ahead. Sure we’ve got the Under 21 European Championships and the Copa America but they amount to diet cola after a few pints of lovely, lovely lager. Beyond that was is there? A ghost town in our soul that’s what.

With the season now officially concluded our main sporting morphine this summer will consist of feigning a fleeting kinship with a scowling Scotsman doing quite well at Wimbledon and laughing at the daftly-dressed Henriettas at Royal Ascot.

After two years of dramas, rumours, scandals, upsets, fixtures, fixtures, fixtures; a gloriously constant sensory bombardment from the media, terraces and opinionated mates alike… suddenly there is nothing. We must endure an involuntary abstinence from what we love the most and dolefully stare at Sky Sports as if it was a tear-stained photograph of a departed ex.

Don’t panic however because help is at hand with our survival guide to ensure that this disorientating spell in the football wilderness is as short and pain-free as possible.

Start believing the transfer nonsense

During the season you are a rational man who knows full well that such an illustrious talent is far beyond your club’s reach. Besides, didn’t the player recently sign a new six-year contract and declare he is definitely staying put due to his family being settled in the area? And how the hell is your club – who were forced to offload your only decent asset back in January to appease the taxman – going to find the money to attempt such an audacious swoop? Pawning the cutlery from the canteen? The story is clearly nonsense and the ‘reporter’ responsible is almost mocking you.

During the summer months however the rules must change because it’s now in your best interests to believe – or at least pretend to believe – these fantastical rumours.

Not only that but to then regurgitate them down the pub, embellished a little for your own amusement, to mates who will similarly abandon all reason and go along with the whole sorry charade.

Such delusions are a tried and trusted coping mechanism and no-one will judge you in August when your club instead signs an unknown rookie from Stevenage.

Invest excessive interest in the Under 21s

Normally it’s a tournament that would only garner a passing intrigue; an opportunity to see your club’s most promising youngster represent his country and feel the vague swelling of proud when he beats his Spanish marker and whips in a decent delivery.

Now though, starved as you are of quality footy, necessity becomes the mother of an invented passion. These are England’s Young Lions dammit going into battle. Failing to bedeck your entire living space with St George paraphernalia while intensely cheering on the likes of Nathan Redmond and Jesse Lingard, until they go out to some pimply-faced Swedes, would be as unpatriotic as befouling the Churchill statue or siding with the yanks over Piers Morgan.

Form your own Premier League

Your weekly alcohol consumption has been described as ‘dangerous, going on suicidal’ and the fifteen Marlboro Lights a day make your chest wheeze when you do anything more strenuous than make a sandwich. Yet needs must. To paraphrase Ivan Drago, if you die, you die.

Getting together two hundred and twenty fellow wastrels won’t be easy but rest assured they are out there, presently zombified by boredom with a pair of shorts balled up somewhere in a wardrobe. If you build it they will come, manfully shrugging off the hammy tweak they got from recently reaching for the remote.

Better yet, forming your own Premier League offers you the chance to personally right your heroes’ wrongs. It’s an opportunity to be Balotelli and actually run around a bit. Or Ashley Young and not cut in every single time.

Who knows, things may escalate and your play-pretend on your local playing field might merge with reality? You might find yourself chatting up your best friend’s fiancée. Or start leaving your blinged-up car in disabled bays. Or even calling your local brothel and asking if the geriatric who used to work there is still alive.

Buy a Match of the Day box-set

One of the worst aspects of the off-season is that your missus inevitably senses weakness as you sit and sulk on a Saturday night. She pounces, taking sole possession of the remote control and suddenly the natural balance is disturbed; the compromise that was amicably struck some time ago – that you silently endure life’s flotsam warbling in a glorified talent contest until she leaves you in peace for the football – is broken. You feel emasculated and worse yet now she is threatening to make you watch a late night film with subtitles about some girl who meets some guy but then the girl gets sick and dies.

Steps need to be taken and reassuringly they do not need to be drastic. All you require is a little imagination.

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The best of the 60s, 70s, and 80s are widely available on DVD although, for authenticities sake, they should be rationed out hourly on Saturday evenings only.

This coping strategy is particularly beneficial to Coventry City fans who will be delighted to see their club back in the top flight once more. They will scream the place down at Ernie Hunt’s donkey kick.

It’s not so good for young Man United supporters however who’ll be perplexed as to why the team in red who win every week keep being referred to as ‘Liverpool’.

Develop a new-found love of cricket

It would in truth solve everything but be warned. Cricket is a gateway drug that can lead to enjoying ITV period dramas, voting Tory, and purchasing the solo albums from each member of Pink Floyd.

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